bluiis: (Beach)

   Though why I'm drinking it is beyond me.  I'll need to get up at 2am.  I'm not even four months along and you can barely tell I'm pregnant (and only if you look), but this little tiny person is jumping on my bladder.  Get off, I tell you!  It's not a trampoline!!

   There.  Now that that's settled.  We went to Berwick today.  It's in Maine, and about a half hour from Kittery.  It was okay, but we liked Somersworth and Rochester/Dover better.  Berwick didn't have much class, but if it's cheaper, we'll live there.

   I've been the worst poster lately.  It's like a roller coaster.  On the way up, it's a miracle I write at all.  But then I get to the top and on the way down, I write so much I bore even me.  <sigh>

   Really, I don't have much to say.  It's almost an hour past my bedtime, and if I keep this up, I'll make New Year's.  Whoopee.  Maybe I'm getting old, but c'mon, it's just another day.  Another year has passed, but it all seems kind of pointless to me.  Unless, of course, people decide they want to send my presents to celebrate the new year.  In which case, I will make the sacrifice and stay up till the magical hour of midnight.  I might even curl my hair.

   Speaking of presents, Jason's was late, but I ordered it and had it sent off.  I got it today.  How dumb am I?  I had it sent here!  But at least it's a gift cad--it'll just cost me a stamp to get it to him.  Grrr.  Definitely a blond moment.

   Speaking of blond moments, I want to clear up confusion for the whole human race.  My hair is blond, but it's dirty blond.  It is not brown; I am not a brunette.  It has always been blond.  Maybe you people think I just want to be blond.  Nope.  I am.  And have you heard the jokes?  As much as I love them (cuz they are funny), would I put myself at the needless expense of these jokes if I didn't come by the color naturally?  I mean, c'mon people!

   Really, my brain is screaming at me to stop thinking (cuz it's not really working--the connections to my fingers keep short-circuting).  So good night people!

   Okay.  I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.  I don't want to go to bed.  I think I'll go redo my profile.

Overwhelmed

Oct. 5th, 2005 09:40 pm
bluiis: (Default)

   I just read all of Sarah's entries, and I feel mowed down.  Not only do I feel as though I don't make LJ worth having me, also I feel bad cuz I know Sarah reads this and she's the only one.  It's got to be boring for her.  But I don't know how to make more friends on LJ.

   I agree that if you have a boring life, it's your fault.  When I was a kid, I heard a very good saying once:  "If you're bored, it's because you're boring."  Kinda painful, but true.  But I'm bored.

   We went to the Freyburg Fair today, and it was so much fun!  I've never seen steers or horses that big!  They're rears stood higher than my head, and I'm not short!  Jill had a ball (I can just hear her saying "ba! ba!  She always does whenever I use that expression.), and we got Christmas presents for all our parents.  It was nice because Jon usually doesn't like to stay long, but we were there for about three or four hours.  Then we went to go say hi to Ginny, then we came home and Jon made an apple pie.  See, I'm so backward.  I don't like to cook or bake, and Jon does.  And my food (scuse my language) sucks.  Jon's is good.  Hello, I'm the one who put cinnamon in the spaghetti sauce (long story)!

   Anyway, we had fun today, but we really regret letting Jill get so spoiled.  She whines when she wants something, and screams when we tell her no (not always, thank goodness), and though she's still a mostly good little girl, she's spoiled.  I can't wait till we finally settle down.  She needs routine.  I've only just started putting her to bed at 8 again; we had moved it up to 9 just for convenience's sake.  At least she didn't fight it tonight; we'd even gotten lax about that!  But when she screams, the battle usually ends within a week.  And we always win. 

   I'm kind of scared about moving; not the physical act, but because life is going to go on.  And I've come to realize that I really don't want to work.  Like, I knew that before, but especially so since working for Faith and having the pookster with me all day.  I don't like having to ignore her and always scolding her because I can't spend time with her.  I want to stay with my baby.  Also, I want to breastfeed my next kid, and though I should be able to (state laws and such being the way they are), it won't be easy.  And I want to use cloth diapers, but I won't be able to if another person (or a daycare) keeps the kids.  Also, I lose patience easily, and when I'm not around Jill all day, I haven't had a chance to bond, and get frustrated too easy.

   I want to write!  I don't want to work, but I'll probably need to.  I'd love to work at home, but what could I do?

   Oh, I didn't mean to come on here to complain.  Really, I do have a good life.  I'm blessed with a wonderful husband, and pretty good little girl who I get to watch blossom into a little person, and a relatively carefree life.  So why do I complain?

   I wish I had some married friends.  There are so many wonderful things about being married that I can't discuss on here.  Actually, I guess it's not married friends I crave, but friends period.  So I'll just say that I love being married.  The closeness, the shared bed, the love, the child, the good times and bad (though those I could do without), the fact that though I married my best friend, he'll never grow old.  I love Jon so much, I don't know what I'd do without him.

   Anyway, I've been on this laptop so long, I've got that kink in my shoulder I always get whenever I stay at the computer too long (or a cash register).

   Good night, journal.

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